You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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