she was so not down for the gang bang
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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