We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
