Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
