cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
