I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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