She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i've created a new STD.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
