yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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