I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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