u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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