I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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