dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
