I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
