I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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