I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
