I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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