Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
