if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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