the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Buhtt sex?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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