And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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