Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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