Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize