ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
