i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
