Whatcha textin bout Willis?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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