You're completely useless in the revolution.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
