the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
