like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
