had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
