we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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