did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize