don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
