dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
