I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
