WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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