Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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