you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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