You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
