Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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