he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
