i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
