I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
