butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
