would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
