i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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