Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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