Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
