Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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