i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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