she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
