She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
