Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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