I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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