I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She needs sedatives and a leash
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY