who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
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Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine