I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
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I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?