no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
