It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
