Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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