hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize