Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
