Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
