butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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