so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
