My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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