Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
