And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
